COACHING
By NINA CHATRATH
29th September 2019
Story 1
Coaching an MD nicknamed 'Sloth Bear'
Do you know what your feedback is saying?
Are you open to feedback?
And are you reading what they are saying, or you have your own interpretation of the 360-degree feedback?
What are real behaviors – how do you differentiate them from ‘perceived behaviors?
Why are you being Coached?
Coaching Debacles
In the world of coaching, one is faced with the strangest of situations. If I were to stay true to ‘being a coach to the person whom I am coaching’, notwithstanding the fact that the organization has retained me, albeit with the best of intentions, at times it seems like the most difficult thing to do.
Perhaps it is best explained through the lens of the actual ‘journey of coaching’ where I was the coach, and where I am not sure I succeeded! That’s the way I would judge it. Having said that, whatever be the outcome of the coaching journey, it was ‘the best’ from the organizational lens. So, the jury is out there on my success as a consultant, and my failure as a coach.
Coaching Journey
- A CEO of a private insurance organization whom I coached for about four months has finally got a job most suited to his ‘personality and competencies’ and is settled after a gap of over 8 months of no employment. An extremely bright and intellectually sharp individual, with an obvious gap between him and his next in line, making one deduce that ALL the key decisions were taken by him; yet he could not hold on to the top job.
- He claimed to have been very successful in all his previous stints with the same behavior, the same that was not only causing him to fail here but also cost him the job itself!
Context & Background
I started out with an organization-led coaching with a long 360-degree feedback report, with 20 + raters, all of whom had commented negatively on his behaviors!
As I conducted the first session, all he could say was that they may see me this way, but they are obviously misinterpreting my motives.
At this point we started deliberating on ‘real behaviors’ versus ‘perceived behaviors’ where I had to break some myths; are they the same, how do they differ, I may be a very different person from how they perceive me etc.
Finally, we made headway to agree on some ‘developmental opportunities’ basis areas being pointed out by most of the feedback givers. On a very serious note, I have a problem calling them ‘development opportunities’, because to me the situation calls for a re-cast of behaviors or a soul-searching situation. This on one hand, and his denial on the other-almost as though two entirely different reports were being referred to!
How does one bridge the gap?
Let’s test the waters before embarking on a journey. Why is he in this exercise of being coached- who is he really doing it for? The broad question is whether there is any belief (in him) in the need to ‘work on behaviors, or was he going through the motions’! As I quizzed him, he was frank enough to admit that he was ‘in this conversation’ because others (primarily his boss) thought he needed to work on his damaging behaviors! Clearly expressing not only his non-acceptance but also total denial, which is surprising as the report concludes clear-cut shortcomings, echoed by most, evidently highly damaging for him. A three-hour long session was beginning to tire me, because no matter what aspect of the report we discussed, he was simply unable to comprehend the ‘need’ to work on himself basis the reporting…if that does not defeat you as a coach ..What can!
The coaching conversations continue-though just to “ll in a check box! Is there any point in making or indeed working through a development plan, as any effort that he put into this is likely to appear disingenuous, and will do him and others more damage? Having said that, he was smart enough to not voice an outright denial of what others have expressed in his report! So, is there any acceptance at all, grudging as it might be? I decided to abort the coaching because even after multiple sessions we made zero headway-To him, certain behaviors are contextual, but surely not as severe as they were made out to be! He also started heaping the blame on the organization structure, overall culture, matrix reporting et al. When one is in a damage control mode in business, you undertake a focused PR exercise, so why should this be any different. So much for acceptance of feedback or a genuine intent of working through one’s obvious weaknesses in behaviors. The PR exercise went well and kept him in the saddle for barely two months, before the organization took the dreaded call. Dreaded for him, possibly a relief for the others.
Are you being Coached to make your company happy?
In this story, it is evidently clear that MD’ does not think he needs any coaching. Unless, there is acceptance to Coaching, it will remain a tick-box.
Both for the Company and the Individual.
Some very Senior Professionals are blocked personal learners and herein lies the problem. If this can be figured before the coaching starts, it will never be suggested. Because coaching will not have the outcomes that it is meant to have.
Coaching should be towards specific outcomes, and in the absence of the same, it’s a wasted effort.
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